Endless Supply of Nothing
If you’re looking for balanced perspectives, this may not be your safe space. But if you’re ready for sharp takes, big laughs, and the occasional inconvenient truth? Pull up a chair.
Endless Supply of Nothing
Welcome to an Endless Supply of Nothing!
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Episode 1 - a. Introduction to an Endless Supply of Nothing! Welcome
I'm Adam Parris.
SPEAKER_00I'm Connie Foley.
SPEAKER_01And this is the first episode of An Endless Supply of Nothing. This is this is our origin story. This is Genesis, the book of Genesis.
SPEAKER_00Like the Bible, not the band.
SPEAKER_01I mean, actually, I really aspire to be as successful as the band and not the Bible. Because I don't feel like the Bible's that successful right now.
SPEAKER_00Um, I mean, it's only lasted what, a few thousands of years.
SPEAKER_01You're trying to tell me that if I put on some full collins right now, you would not call it a success?
SPEAKER_00I mean, yes, I agree.
SPEAKER_01Some susudio.
SPEAKER_00As long as as long as we don't, you know, split up like Genesis did.
SPEAKER_01I'll tell you what. If you read me a few verses from Genesis and the Bible, and then you put on I Can Feel It in the Air Tonight, guess which one's gonna give me goosebumps?
SPEAKER_00The Bible.
SPEAKER_01Wrong.
SPEAKER_00All right, Adam. So why are we doing this? What is this Genesis all about?
SPEAKER_01This is a comedy podcast. We're just here to talk about life and love and the pursuit of nothing.
SPEAKER_00I like it. This is all for fun, nothing is serious, right?
SPEAKER_01Definitely don't take us seriously.
SPEAKER_00We can't get canceled because we're already canceled.
SPEAKER_01We are decidedly unfamous. Like, and yet that makes us strangely more relatable.
SPEAKER_00A hundred percent. So who's gonna listen to us? And why should they listen to us, Adam?
SPEAKER_01I feel like anyone on your morning commute while you're making dinner, when you're using a public restroom.
SPEAKER_00Public one, not your home one.
SPEAKER_01No, no. You can't listen to us when you're on. Well, you may listen to us then, but anytime you're just like, this is insane. Like, what's the world coming to? Or, you know, it's a good thing.
SPEAKER_00And then you say, I wonder what Adam and Connie are thinking about that.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, we're gonna give you a fresh take. Maybe a little bit of a hot take.
SPEAKER_00Or a cold one.
SPEAKER_01Or a cold one. And uh we're not giving anyone anything even remotely resembling advice.
SPEAKER_00Because we actually don't know what we're talking about.
SPEAKER_01No, we definitely don't. Like in real life, you know, maybe in our day jobs, people do take us seriously. But this right here, when we step inside this booth, this is not serious.
SPEAKER_00We're like the opposite of like Superman and Clark Kent.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, that's right.
SPEAKER_00We enter this booth and it's like just silliness and stupidity and enjoyment.
SPEAKER_01That's right. That's right.
SPEAKER_00And when we put on our glasses, we're super serious.
SPEAKER_01You know, if you want relatable absurdity, that's the endless supply of nothing.
SPEAKER_00I like it.
SPEAKER_01You know?
SPEAKER_00I like it.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, when we come in this booth, it's like, did you ever see that Sylvester Sallone movie Over the Top?
SPEAKER_00I don't think so.
SPEAKER_01Good for you, because it's not good. Actually, it's kind of great in a cult way. So he's this like truck driver, and he does arm wrestling.
SPEAKER_00Arm wrestling. I've never seen the whole thing, but I've definitely maybe watched bits and pieces of it on like the WB.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, and there's a scene where he's like, they're interviewing him as like a like an athlete in this league of arm wrestling.
SPEAKER_00Arm wrestlers. Who are like drunk drivers.
SPEAKER_01And he's like, when I turn my hat around, I'm like, that's when I become like a machine. I'm not like a human, I'm a machine. That's when I get in the zone. I'm paraphrasing.
SPEAKER_00I feel like that accent was like sly Arnold little Russian dude somewhere.
SPEAKER_01It was an amalgam of meatheads. If you just it's like a chili, you just throw a lot in there, and it generally comes out sounding very meat-headed.
SPEAKER_00Throw some beans and boom, you got boom.
SPEAKER_01Anyway, so when we step into this booth, that's what happens. And you know what? Again, we're both parents, we're both working people, so most of the time we're talking about stuff that's probably relatable. Relatable. Like what we're not doing, and I've got to be careful here because I do love some podcasts with celebrities, right? Like a fan, so I'm not knocking them. But at the same time, like I can't relate to that one time I was on Saturday Night Live or like or vacationing in Saint Tropez on your yacht. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, oh, my other house, or like, oh yeah, when we were on the set of the departed. Nope, sorry. Does not compute. We do not have that for you.
SPEAKER_00No. It's unfortunately.
SPEAKER_01Like laugh a little bit and tune into something where there's no expectations on the listener.
SPEAKER_00No, because it's like a plug or like a promotional yeah.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, it's a plug, you know?
SPEAKER_00It's like a a late night spot because you have a movie coming up or something like that, right?
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00And we don't know any celebrity friends, so no one's coming on the show.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. And currently our policy is not to have experts in anything.
SPEAKER_00Because then they would outshine us.
SPEAKER_01That's possible. Or it might just like stultify us. We might get a bunch of dead air in the episode. I think also it could give people the mirage that we are like, again, we're taking ourselves seriously, which we are not.
SPEAKER_00No. So why should people listen to us? A little Calgon Take Me Away moment.
SPEAKER_01I mean, Kanye, let me answer that question with the question back to you. All right. Why should people listen to us?
SPEAKER_00Well, the reason why we got together to do this is just to have some fun.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Um, we have good banter, at least that's what people have told us, unless all our friends were lying to us. And um, you know, and we figured, why not? Everybody else seems to have a fucking podcast, so why not us?
SPEAKER_01Right, yeah. Why not? Right. It's at last I checked, you don't need a license to podcast.
SPEAKER_00Yes.
SPEAKER_01You do need a license to ill. You don't need a license to podcast. No, you know what? If you have a busy life, whether it's busy just because like the weight of the world's on your shoulders, or like literally busy because you're shuttling around kids or you're shuttling around for your job or whatever it is, and you miss that time in your life where you were just sitting around with friends, just like talking shit and kind of like making good conversation.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. And laughing.
SPEAKER_01Then listen to the endless supply of nothing. We're just recreating that moment where it's like we don't have to worry about AI taking over the world. There's brevity and people talking about people. Oh, I like it. How does that go over?
SPEAKER_00I like it.
SPEAKER_01Just tune in and laugh.
SPEAKER_00Okay. I like it. Tune in, turn on, get cozy for not too long because we're not gonna make it that long, right?
SPEAKER_01Yeah, it's bite-sized. I think in the world of podcasts, we're like not just the morning headlines, but we're not like going deep into the outlands of 45 minutes and beyond.
SPEAKER_00We're not going deep.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00We're gonna keep it surface level.
SPEAKER_01Exceptionally shallow. Exceptionally shallow here.
SPEAKER_00What's your second reason? I'd like to know.
SPEAKER_01I mean, I think part of our um shtick is Adam, Adam, Adam. Thank you, thank you. Thank you for saving everyone from dead air. Um I think we have a subversive bent. Like if there are some things about the world that just like nag at you a little bit, not in a way where like you're gonna go out and like protest, but in a way where, you know, you're like, dude, how can you possibly put the toilet paper on the roll that way? Then like who does that? We're we are your people.
SPEAKER_00Yes.
SPEAKER_01We're not expecting you to take it seriously.
SPEAKER_00Not trying to hurt anyone's feelings, but we will tell you if it's right or wrong.
SPEAKER_01Right.
SPEAKER_00And if you're doing it wrong, I'm sorry. We're gonna let you know.
SPEAKER_01At the very least, we'll add to your pros and cons list. We're gonna like give you we're gonna give you a point of view.
SPEAKER_00Pointers. Pointers on, you know, how to be better.
SPEAKER_01You know, more than we talk about other people or things, we're probably gonna make fun of ourselves a lot.
SPEAKER_00That pretty much sums it up.
SPEAKER_01Let me correct that record for a second. Connie's gonna make fun of me a lot.
SPEAKER_00We're gonna have some fun.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00I what we want people to be like, oh yeah, that was funny. Or, oh, I agree with that. Or that was bullshit.
SPEAKER_01That was some grade A bullshit.
SPEAKER_00But you know what? All those are welcome. That's right. Not that I'm gonna read your comments or anything.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, you can feel safe in here.
SPEAKER_00Yes.
SPEAKER_01I certainly feel safe in here. I really feel like if the world ended in the sound booth that we're recording the podcast, I would definitely not know.
SPEAKER_00And you walk out and you're like Will Smith in that movie.
SPEAKER_01I know the one you're talking about, but I can't place the title.
SPEAKER_00I know.
SPEAKER_01How about good old Will? Poor guy. I feel like he got kind of a raw deal. I mean, definitely you shouldn't have smacked Chris Rock, but like Definitely not. Chris Rock also pushed a pretty sensitive button.
SPEAKER_00I have a lot to say about that, but I'm not gonna talk about it right now. Sure. I mean, from what I heard, Will Smith is kind of a pussy in the in the world.
SPEAKER_01Oh whoa.
SPEAKER_00And he did it to like show off for Jada.
SPEAKER_01Why?
SPEAKER_00What he was trying to like be all manly for Jada. It was him like kind of like overcompensating.
SPEAKER_01Plus, we don't need that version of male anymore.
SPEAKER_00No.
SPEAKER_01To just solve things with the code.
SPEAKER_00Also, it's Chris Rock. He was like hosting the Oscars or whatever. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01You know, like one could argue that if he jokes about you, Chris Rock, it's actually a compliment.
SPEAKER_00And I mean, we're gonna be talking about random shit like that all the time. We'll find our way back.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Do not expect us to be this don't adjust your sets. This ain't no tight narrative. We do somehow magically pull it together at the end.
SPEAKER_00We do.
SPEAKER_01It's a happy ending.
SPEAKER_00I like happy endings. So to summarize, we are two normal people, average Joe Schmose or Josie Schmose, and who are here to have some fun.
SPEAKER_01Josie Smos. Okay, friendo. Sorry, go ahead.
SPEAKER_00We're just two people making observations, talking some shit. And if you want to listen, great.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. If you want to listen and even send us some ideas, send us some thoughts, we definitely will marginally pay attention to them. And if you generally need a break from the craziness of the world, if you want some relatable absurdity, if you want to make nonsense of nonsense, come listen to the endless supply of nothing.
SPEAKER_00Good job, Adam. Thank you.
