SPEAKER_01 0:00

There's like a card game of competing superpowers, and we got it with the kids, and it's like you can fly and read minds versus like you can shoot lasers out of your uh your eyes. Keeping it clean right there. Did you see that? That was such a high bar choice. Welcome to an endless supply of nothing. I'm Adam Paris.

SPEAKER_03 0:26

I'm Connie Foley.

SPEAKER_01 0:27

We are about to explore the absurd in a truly absurd way. We dare you to take us seriously.

SPEAKER_03 0:40

What's going on, Adam? What are we talking about today?

SPEAKER_01 0:43

So you I want to hear more about you think Tom has another family in New Jersey.

SPEAKER_03 0:49

Well, Tom has been going on these work trips recently, and it's been for like a night or two. And like I see it either in the calendar or like he just tells me about it in passing. And it's been happening a little bit more frequently, and it seems to be happening in New Jersey. So I'm like, do you have a second family in New Jersey that you're going to see? I mean, I didn't tell it to him, I told it to my friend Garth. Because I was like, hey Garth, you want to come over for the world. I'd be like, hey Garth, Tom's away. You wanna come over for dinner? And then we joke saying, like, tonight the performance of Tom will be played by his understudy Garth. And uh it's all a mystery, so that's why I think he has a second family.

SPEAKER_01 1:33

That does make it more suspicious. It's shrouded and mystery.

SPEAKER_03 1:37

I mean, I did ask him one time and he thought it was funny, but in reality, Tom could not handle a second family because he would be so confused and lost.

SPEAKER_01 1:47

He's a hot mess. Maybe he just has like a closet hobby. Like, what if he's just secretly into taxidermy and has like a cabin in the woods in New Jersey where he goes and does taxidermy?

SPEAKER_03 2:00

That would be even worse.

SPEAKER_01 2:02

I would prefer the second rather Tom have a closet hobby that makes him seem like a serial killer or have another family.

SPEAKER_03 2:12

Another family for sure.

SPEAKER_01 2:13

Really?

SPEAKER_03 2:14

I mean, that's sketchy, dude.

SPEAKER_01 2:16

It is pretty sketchy.

SPEAKER_00 2:18

And that's like I sometimes go out into the woods in my cabin and stuff animals.

SPEAKER_03 2:24

Or like if he's out there like doing little woodworking, making the little beds for a toy doll situation, like that dude in the wire.

SPEAKER_01 2:33

Yeah. Yeah. Making Lester, I think his name was, making the furniture. Yeah. Yeah. Although that guy at least was fighting crime. Yes.

SPEAKER_03 2:44

But if he was like doing that in like a little like shed out in the middle of the woods, we would all be like, that's suspect.

SPEAKER_01 2:52

Now imagine you're a mobster in New Jersey and you like roll up somehow on Tom in his cabin. Are you gonna be like scared chillless, or are you gonna be like, hey guy, let us use your cabin?

SPEAKER_03 3:03

I think the mobster would open the door and then close it and walk away.

SPEAKER_01 3:10

We gotta find a new place for this body. This guy's crazy. I think anyone would open the door and slowly walk away.

SPEAKER_03 3:18

I mean Imagine if he has, you know, those double, you know, glasses, like and the light, the headlamp, all of it. Come on in, officers.

SPEAKER_01 3:27

I'm just stuffing a bird here.

SPEAKER_03 3:30

So that's the situation. I mean, what would you rather for Renee?

SPEAKER_01 3:35

Like if Renee was going on these quote unquote work trips. Mysterious jersey trips, work trips. Well, I think first of all, Renee is like Tom, where I don't see her leading a double life. Like her brain would explode.

SPEAKER_03 3:53

But I mean, if she was like in a cabin.

SPEAKER_01 3:55

I would be pretty freaked out by the taxidermy thing. I think actually, like I would have more of a moral quandary about whether or not to be like, it's okay, honey, you can do the taxidermy at home. I definitely don't want that shit anywhere near me.

SPEAKER_03 4:11

So would you build her her own shed, like in the back of your house upstairs? It kind of maybe like uh so she doesn't have to do it in secret anymore?

SPEAKER_01 4:22

I think I would maybe build like a glass tower. Like, like I can see you up there. I know what you're doing, but it's somehow like some kind of shed or cellar or cave, like cellar sounds really cave. That just sounds so super shady. I'd be like.

SPEAKER_03 4:40

There would be another family.

SPEAKER_01 4:42

Step out into the light, honey. Just to get some fresh air and some sunshine while you stuff a dead animal.

SPEAKER_03 4:48

All of a sudden, all those Amazon packages show up.

SPEAKER_01 4:52

I know, right?

SPEAKER_03 4:53

Like what is all this crazy?

SPEAKER_01 4:54

Boy, you really are going deep on formaldehyde these days. I don't even know if that's involved at tactile derby.

SPEAKER_03 5:02

I don't know. So I'd just like to make light of the situation.

SPEAKER_01 5:05

As you should what's another would you rather?

SPEAKER_03 5:08

I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 5:09

I love exploring these, but I always have trouble thinking of what they would be.

SPEAKER_03 5:13

Mean too. And my kids love it. Like, we play these games in the car. Like, who would win, right? Like fifty little axles with ten arms or like a triceratops or something, you know, like yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 5:28

I mean, definitely the triceratops.

SPEAKER_03 5:32

I don't know. I mean a hundred little axles, you might run away.

SPEAKER_01 5:38

Scatter and confuse the triceratops only to come back around and like tackle it.

SPEAKER_03 5:43

Yeah, sizes and what all matters, you know.

SPEAKER_01 5:46

There's so I'm told. Unfortunately, too many times. Um would you rather be Superman or Batman? Sorry, would you rather be Wonder Woman or Wait, why can't I be Wonderman? You can be whichever. I mean why I just didn't want to be.

SPEAKER_03 6:10

I would want to be Superman. You can fly. Batman's just a man. He just has a lot of toys. He's a spoiled little rich kid. He just got a lot of toys.

SPEAKER_01 6:24

With a lot of emotional baggage.

SPEAKER_03 6:27

I mean, he does have Alfred, but Yeah, poor Alfred.

SPEAKER_01 6:30

Man, Alfred, that guy, talk about his shoulder to cry on. He can just really Actually, you know what? I think Alfred's a little bit of an enabler. You know? At no point did Alfred say, like, hey buddy, this maybe isn't the right thing to do. Like, why don't you go to therapy instead? I think you have an unhealthy obsession with bats. I think I think occasionally it would be good for you to go out during the day.

SPEAKER_03 6:58

And maybe and stop like going vigilante.

SPEAKER_01 7:01

Yeah, yeah. Maybe, just maybe, you should not have a totally other identity. Okay? What do you think of that, pal?

SPEAKER_03 7:10

So it's all Alfred's fault?

SPEAKER_01 7:12

A little bit. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 7:14

Alfred should have stepped in and be like, listen, Wayne, I know life has been hard, but you have all this money, so let's channel this for good. Yeah. And not go vigilante.

SPEAKER_01 7:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 7:25

I mean, Superman had his parents.

SPEAKER_01 7:27

I guess that he Who dropped him off on somebody else's doorstep.

SPEAKER_03 7:31

No, the adoptive parents and those nice people set him right and gave him a code, right? And did the right thing. What if Superman had Alfred? Then he would have had a secret layer.

SPEAKER_01 7:44

Well, then the world would be fucked, is what happens. He would have a secret layer in which he probably would do taxidermy.

SPEAKER_03 7:52

In an underground cave or something.

SPEAKER_01 7:54

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_03 7:55

Or in the field. What's scarier?

SPEAKER_01 7:57

Wait a minute.

SPEAKER_03 7:58

A cave or like in the woods cabin.

SPEAKER_01 8:02

Okay, I do want to pick this up, but can I just tell you I've had a revelation.

SPEAKER_03 8:06

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 8:06

I think Diddy is just Superman with Alfred. Just why? Morals gone wrong. Somebody with a lot of resources. I mean, he didn't have superpowers. Let's acknowledge that.

SPEAKER_03 8:22

I mean, he did have the superpower to make people rip off music and make remix. He did have the superpower of remix. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 8:33

Would you rather spend 24 hours in a cave?

SPEAKER_03 8:38

Or like a cellar, like in a basement.

SPEAKER_01 8:40

Like a cellar, like the basement in Zodiac, the movie. Remember that scene? Did you ever see that?

SPEAKER_03 8:46

No, I don't think so. Just like a sketchy Or like in that movie with What's Her Face? Uh she was Miss Marvel, you know, Oh Bree Larson.

SPEAKER_01 8:55

Yeah, she was like, I was gonna say you're really not narrowing it down for that lady, you know, that one.

SPEAKER_03 9:01

So she was trapped in that like basement and had like a baby and stuff like that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 9:06

Yeah, yeah. I actually never saw it.

SPEAKER_03 9:08

Oh, right. So would you rather be stuck in a basement like that or in a shack in the woods? You can't leave either of these places. And the shack has no windows.

SPEAKER_01 9:23

Okay, so we got like a Brie Larson in the room scenario versus James Conn misery situation.

SPEAKER_02 9:31

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 9:33

Okay. Uh I'm gonna take the cabin in the woods for 500 because at least like I can plot. I can plot my way. I I can like maybe I'm gonna get some.

SPEAKER_03 9:45

Where do you go? And where would you see anybody?

SPEAKER_01 9:48

Maybe I'm gonna get a little bit of sunshine occasionally through the window. And like I have at least the prospect of like trying to bust out and run through the woods.

SPEAKER_03 10:00

I mean, I don't know. I uh both of them sounds terrifying, but I mean, at least in the basement, if you escape, you have more of a chance to see other people versus in the woods you're like all alone. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_01 10:16

Your getaway is more complicated. I mean, you're assuming the cellar is in uh a a home with nearby homes. Yes, as opposed to the cellar where Tom does uh taxidermy in the country.

SPEAKER_03 10:29

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 10:30

And Batman.

SPEAKER_03 10:31

I mean, have I ever told you that story?

SPEAKER_01 10:34

Wait a minute, is Tom Alfred?

SPEAKER_03 10:37

No, or Wayne? Oh, he'd have to be rich. Bruce Wayne, yeah. I don't know. Anyway, anyway, so I have this story where in college I went in Ohio and this girl was from like this tiny little town. She was like, hey, you guys, my friend from high school is having a kegger. Like it's gonna be 10 kegs, it's gonna be amazing. I go, and I was like, I have never been more scared in my life.

SPEAKER_01 11:01

At the party?

SPEAKER_03 11:02

No, just going to the party.

SPEAKER_01 11:04

Oh, going to the party.

SPEAKER_03 11:05

It was like, I did not see another car whole ride, and it's cornfields everywhere. Like maybe there was a house or something. And then all of a sudden, I swear to god, the road, it looked like it was about to turn like left, and she's flying at like 60 miles an hour, and I'm like bracing myself in the backseat, like, oh fuck. And she just goes straight, and like literally, like the back cave, this road just like appeared into the cornfield, and I was like, oh my god, where are we going? And you know what? People are like, Oh, you're from the city, and stuff like that. And I was like, Yeah, but like if I scream, someone might hear me. They might not say anything, but like if the cops hopefully walk around and it's like at so-and-so this time, did you hear anyone be like, help? And somebody might say yes, like I have a chance, right?

SPEAKER_01 11:54

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 11:54

But like in the cornfield, like if I scream, no one is hearing me, and someone's gonna lock me up in their basement, chain me to the bed frame, and I'm gonna die there at like a hundred being a sex slave. Like, that's my worst nightmare.

unknown 12:10

Wow.

SPEAKER_01 12:12

I mean, when you describe it that way, it's a completely different choice. Hey, would you rather uh a cave or a cabin? But but let me back it up a little bit and add a few layers. Like, you're you're thousands of miles from where anyone can hear you in the cabin. And the you just described my adolescence, by the way. We we used to go to field parties, and so basically, like, you know, I grew up in a really like rural area in Maryland that is now suburban sprawl, but you know, people would like find you know fields to party. Yeah, you just like drive.

SPEAKER_03 12:50

I used to go to the junior high.

SPEAKER_01 12:52

And I think that was the point was like you're far away from where the cops could find you.

SPEAKER_03 12:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 12:57

Uh but the way you described it definitely sounded like the setup for a horror movie. Like far from where anyone could hear them. They had 10 kegs, and everything went wrong from there.

SPEAKER_03 13:11

Oh, and guess what?

SPEAKER_01 13:12

This was the Bud Light.

SPEAKER_03 13:15

We get there. It wasn't ten kegs, it was three, and it was tapped.

SPEAKER_01 13:22

No wonder she was doing 60. She had like a preter natural sense, like, there's no beer left.

SPEAKER_03 13:28

So I was like, wow, this is this has been an adventure.

SPEAKER_01 13:32

Would you rather is like a close, sort of a cousin to another game that's sort of similarly just like a choice game. And it's like three choices. One is you get romantically involved with one, aka have sex, aka fill in the blank.

SPEAKER_03 13:51

One rhymes with duck.

SPEAKER_01 13:54

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 13:54

Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding.

SPEAKER_01 13:56

Another one with one of the other people, you murder them.

SPEAKER_03 14:00

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 14:01

AKA kill, and then another one, you marry. And first of all, I think this choice is really weird. Like, we've got two cardinal sins, and then we have marry.

SPEAKER_03 14:14

That's what brings us together today.

SPEAKER_01 14:17

What does that say about our opinion of marriage? It's like, are you like part of the seven deadly sins? Like lust, murder, and marriage.

SPEAKER_03 14:28

I don't know. Some people might say yes.

SPEAKER_01 14:31

What may well that makes, you know, Tom's choice to have a second family especially weird. He's a serial offender. Uh but a friend of the He's not married.

SPEAKER_03 14:43

I mean, he's not a polygamist.

SPEAKER_01 14:45

Oh, I see. I see. He just has a family out of wedlock. Exactly. Okay. All right.

SPEAKER_03 14:51

He's keeping it real. He's keeping it, you know.

SPEAKER_01 14:53

That does make it a lot better.

SPEAKER_03 14:55

Morally. Or legally. I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 14:59

I'm so now I can see it. See, I thought I was I was looking down from my moral high ground down below, and I couldn't see it. And now you just you brought it up a notch, and now I can see it. I'm looking eye level.

SPEAKER_03 15:10

Yeah, see, now you get it.

SPEAKER_01 15:12

Yeah, okay, thank you.

SPEAKER_03 15:13

You're welcome.

SPEAKER_01 15:14

So my friend taught me a version of this game where it's cheeses.

SPEAKER_03 15:19

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 15:19

Parmesan, cheddar, brie. Go.

SPEAKER_03 15:24

Oh god. I'm not a big fan of Parmesan. I mean, it's good. I like it, but Tom's not a big fan, so we don't really have it in the house. But um, he prefers pecorino romano.

SPEAKER_01 15:37

But um I bet he does.

SPEAKER_03 15:39

Maybe he has parmesan at his other family.

SPEAKER_01 15:42

Yeah, I was gonna say, do you think he's going over to New Jersey? Because they love the palm over there. You gotta have palm.

SPEAKER_03 15:47

It's palm all day.

SPEAKER_01 15:49

Uh I would say So we're kill presumably we're killing.

SPEAKER_03 15:54

No, I think parm is like the neutral, like it goes on pasta well, like it goes on other things. In Italy, I learned you dip it in balsamic vinegar, and it's delicious.

SPEAKER_01 16:05

Yes, yes.

SPEAKER_03 16:06

I didn't know that. So I might say, um, I mean, brie's good, cheddar's good.

SPEAKER_01 16:12

I mean, I'm not a Do you lust for parm?

SPEAKER_03 16:15

No. I'm kind of like mediocre with parm, so maybe I would just marry.

SPEAKER_01 16:21

Alright, there you go. We settle for parm.

SPEAKER_03 16:25

I think I would probably kill cheddar because I don't really need cheddar in my life. Controversial the shit out of Brie.

SPEAKER_01 16:32

It sucks. All right. Okay. I just get alone with some Brie. Bound. Um, okay, all right. What would you do? Uh let's see. And also I just realized I made marriage like a You did kind of take a consolation prize. Yeah. It's like it's like if you if you can conquer your desires and not lust. And if you can conquer your anger and not, you know, try to maim or hurt or kill, then what's left for you is marriage. Uh I probably should like go for it. I'll tell you what, I lust for cheddar. It's delicious, it brings back fond memories of yellows because cabot cheddar. No, real extra sharp white cheddar. Aged white cheddar. So I lust for that. Parm, I want to be in a long-term relationship with. It's very versatile. We're gonna have lots of adventures. I'm I'm see how I'm making marriage sound more attractive. Uh uh. And we could really have a life together. And then Brie, I'll kill Brie.

SPEAKER_03 17:47

Really?

SPEAKER_01 17:47

You know, I might take like a little bit and put it on some bread or a ham sandwich before I kill it. You know?

SPEAKER_03 17:54

Just to get a little taste. Or like as like like what Dexter did with like have a little like blood sample for each of his victims.

SPEAKER_01 18:02

Yeah, there you go. That's right. I've got somewhere I've got a lot of like slides with just like a little sliver of brief. It's in a big freezer in my cave in the woods in New Jersey. Why do you keep going out to New Jersey? Don't worry about it.

SPEAKER_03 18:19

And if there's ever a brie shortage, we know where to go.

SPEAKER_01 18:26

If there's ever, don't go to Costco, come to my shelter.

SPEAKER_03 18:31

Exactly. Go to Adam's uh freezer in the cabin in the woods.

SPEAKER_01 18:35

Come on out to my cabin. It's fine. It's very peaceful, very quiet.

SPEAKER_03 18:40

There's no one around.

SPEAKER_01 18:41

You can enjoy your brie with no one around.

SPEAKER_03 18:47

How come your house has no windows? You ever get any light down here? Can you do that with other things besides cheese?

SPEAKER_01 18:56

Well, I believe you can, Connie. Let's go with coffee, tea, espresso.

SPEAKER_03 19:03

Oh. I mean, I like tea. Green tea especially, but if I had to give one up, I can kill tea.

SPEAKER_00 19:10

Oh, wow, okay.

SPEAKER_03 19:11

Um, I would marry coffee because that's the consistent. It's the this is what I do every day. And then espresso.

SPEAKER_01 19:19

Come back to the, you know, the grind. Espresso is the check of Alan, espresso is just a torrid affair.

SPEAKER_03 19:27

It's sexy.

SPEAKER_01 19:28

Espresso just makes me want to rip my clothes off and get down to it. Speaking of, I mean, isn't espresso like espresso is just like a little shot. So is that like, you know, a little out of passion for nothing?

SPEAKER_03 19:42

I mean, isn't that what most lust is?

SPEAKER_01 19:45

I mean, co coffee is the gift that keeps on giving.

SPEAKER_03 19:49

Which is why you should marry it.

SPEAKER_01 19:51

True. Fair. Yep.

SPEAKER_03 19:52

You don't want it to just be like, wham bam, thank you, ma'am, and be done.

SPEAKER_01 19:56

Are you like a checklist person? Like, oh, I check that experience off my list.

SPEAKER_03 20:01

Actually, I am.

SPEAKER_01 20:02

Oh, okay. All right. Yeah. You an espresso?

SPEAKER_03 20:05

I mean, I I checklist all the time. I love a good checklist. Espresso are out there. And bullets.

SPEAKER_01 20:12

I think I would I would marry coffee. Sometimes I actually daydream about Saturday morning and just like waking up and just sitting and enjoying my coffee.

SPEAKER_03 20:24

Wow.

SPEAKER_01 20:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 20:25

I don't know if I should be sad or concerned.

SPEAKER_01 20:31

Sweet, dude. Let's hang this week.

SPEAKER_03 20:37

You and your black coffee.

SPEAKER_01 20:38

Well, I do a chemex on the weekends a lot of times. A pour over, I believe they call it. Stuff like that.

SPEAKER_03 20:44

I know. What is the difference? I guess chemex is like the brand name, like a tissue versus like a Kleenex.

SPEAKER_01 20:50

We need to get a coffee expert in here to resolve that. Maybe next week.

SPEAKER_03 20:55

Can we have a caller, please? Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 20:57

You go do some research. You go do research on that. Meanwhile, get back to uh I'm I'm with you. I mmm mmm. No, I would murder espresso. Oh really? Murder espresso.

SPEAKER_03 21:10

And I would like in a passionate way?

SPEAKER_01 21:14

Make some sweet, sweet love to tea. And you know why? Why? Because there's so many different types of tea out there.

SPEAKER_03 21:20

There are. But do you like the fruity ones?

SPEAKER_01 21:23

No, no. No, I love uh I love a good I love mint tea.

SPEAKER_03 21:29

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_01 21:29

Yeah. Love the shit out of some mint tea. It's just like comforting and soothing. And then I do love a chai.

SPEAKER_03 21:36

Oh.

SPEAKER_01 21:37

Yeah. Sometimes I'm in the mood for a chai.

SPEAKER_03 21:40

Alright, like a chai latte.

SPEAKER_01 21:42

Sometimes chai, sometimes chai latte.

SPEAKER_03 21:44

Oh.

SPEAKER_01 21:44

Yeah. Mix it up.

SPEAKER_03 21:45

Wait a yeah.

SPEAKER_01 21:46

Keep you guessing. I know. That's right. You never know what you're gonna get. You just never freaking know.

SPEAKER_03 21:52

You know.

SPEAKER_01 21:52

Sometimes a jasmine.

SPEAKER_03 21:54

Oh. Yeah. That bitch is good.

SPEAKER_01 21:57

Yeah. Mysterious. Shroud. And secret shit.

SPEAKER_03 22:01

What about that Africa one? It's like red, uh something like that. Assam? No. It has like uh double letters, a rubling, a rouge, something like that.

SPEAKER_01 22:12

Once again, I'm not closer to the answer.

SPEAKER_03 22:15

There is a lot of different teas. I don't know, there's a lot. I just don't like the fruity ones.

SPEAKER_01 22:22

Uh yeah, the fruity ones, no bueno.

SPEAKER_03 22:24

I mean But you know, I mean, if you're caffeine averse or whatever, or in the afternoon, you know, tea has caffeine. Some more than others.

SPEAKER_01 22:34

That's true. Yeah, chai it can really charge you up.

SPEAKER_03 22:37

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_01 22:38

Um I have another one.

SPEAKER_03 22:40

What is it?

SPEAKER_01 22:41

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 22:41

Laidami.

SPEAKER_01 22:42

Salt, sweet, or acid.

SPEAKER_03 22:46

Oh. I would marry salt. I love salt. I mean, I like savory as a general food group. Uh-huh. So you can't have savory without salt. So I would marry the shit out of salt.

SPEAKER_01 22:58

Okay. We're elevating marriage here a little bit. I think we're casting marriage in a more positive light here.

SPEAKER_03 23:03

A little bit of feelings in there. And then I probably fuck sweet. Because I do like a good tart or I'm not a chocolate fan. The richness is too much for me, but I do love like fruit tarts and strawberry shortcakes and I see.

SPEAKER_01 23:23

You want an earthy tea with a fruit tart.

SPEAKER_03 23:27

That's like a bout check a bow wow moment, you know, the sweets, you know. And then the acid I probably would be like peace out homes you're done.

SPEAKER_01 23:35

Really? Kill the acid?

SPEAKER_03 23:37

Yeah. But I mean, what is acid, I guess?

SPEAKER_01 23:39

Vinegar.

SPEAKER_03 23:40

Uh yeah.

SPEAKER_01 23:42

Some fruit juices like lemon and lime have a lot of acid.

SPEAKER_03 23:45

True. And tomatoes.

SPEAKER_01 23:47

Yep, tomatoes. Acidic.

SPEAKER_03 23:49

Yeah, I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 23:50

This is a tough one for me. I definitely I think I'm gonna marry salt.

SPEAKER_03 23:54

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 23:55

And I think I'll switch it up and I'm gonna go bout chicka bow with acid.

SPEAKER_03 24:01

Every time I hear acid, it's like I think of like LSD. No.

SPEAKER_01 24:06

Sorry. Word association.

SPEAKER_03 24:10

I mean, I think of like a acid, like burning face.

SPEAKER_01 24:15

Oh wow. Oh, who's going to Jersey? Tom or you did you watch House of Usher? Is that why you're thinking of that?

SPEAKER_03 24:27

No, it's House of Usher.

SPEAKER_01 24:30

You'll have to watch it.

SPEAKER_03 24:31

But that's it in any relation with Usher, the singer? Because I hope not.

SPEAKER_01 24:35

Usher.

SPEAKER_03 24:36

I love Usher. I'll talk about him like that.

SPEAKER_01 24:40

One of these days we're gonna have to do an episode of all the guys that you love, like hip-hop, like R. Kelly, who we've acknowledged is morally bereft, and uh nonetheless did make a couple of good songs um in Connie's book, and then Usher and any others.

SPEAKER_03 24:58

But uh R I P D'Angelo.

SPEAKER_01 25:01

And here's the weird thing is I would um kill sweets.

SPEAKER_03 25:05

Why?

SPEAKER_01 25:05

I don't know. You know, I actually have been getting more and more into baking, and I do love um I do love sweets, but I just love like vinegar-based stuff. It pairs so well.

SPEAKER_03 25:17

It does.

SPEAKER_01 25:18

I feel like I could lead a double life situation.

SPEAKER_03 25:22

Like in the cabin out of New Jersey?

SPEAKER_01 25:26

Yep. No, like in the Batcave kind of a thing. Like by day, I'm savory all the way, baby. And then by night, it's like I've got this other life, this other identity where it's like where Alfred gets you all your baking goods and Alfred gets me all my like vinegar-based hot sauce.

SPEAKER_03 25:45

Oh, vinegar stuff.

SPEAKER_01 25:47

And you know, you got your vinegar to put on some parm.

SPEAKER_03 25:50

Oh, and then uh, and like ferment and stuff.

SPEAKER_01 25:54

Yeah, yep, exactly. Some kimchi. Yeah, yep, mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_03 25:58

Pickles.

SPEAKER_01 25:59

There you go. Pickles, pickle anything.

SPEAKER_03 26:02

And so your baccave is filled with jars.

SPEAKER_01 26:07

Fermenting things.

SPEAKER_03 26:08

So your cabin in the woods has slides of brie and your back cave has jars of things pickling and fermenting.

SPEAKER_01 26:19

Yep. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 26:20

That's that's quite the that's quite the life you got there.

SPEAKER_01 26:23

It's it's weird how you can add a cabin in the woods or a cave to anything and it just starts taking on a very sketchy thing.

SPEAKER_03 26:30

It does. That would be a fun game. Which is like, you know, cabin in the woods or back cave. Like, what would you do in either of those? Just throw in anything. Insert, you know.

SPEAKER_01 26:42

Can we also talk about while we're on along those lines? Like, so he's in the back cave and he's almost always got cameras where he's like looking in on news, spying on shit, doing research on shit. Like another one Alfred missed. Come on, Alfred. It is not okay to pry.

SPEAKER_03 27:02

I mean, it kind of goes along with being a vigilante. Or should Alfred be like, uh, tapping into like CCTVs is not okay.

SPEAKER_01 27:11

Yeah, exactly. Like, hey, dude.

SPEAKER_03 27:14

We're breaking the law.

SPEAKER_01 27:15

Hey, we crossed a little line back there.

SPEAKER_03 27:19

Maybe the live feed from so-and-so, like headquarters should be cut off, sort of thing.

SPEAKER_01 27:24

Yeah, yeah. Maybe like, don't be a peeping tongue, and maybe like try to instill some trust in the world and like, you know, faith in your fellow man.

SPEAKER_03 27:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 27:35

Maybe we can pick this up on the next episode of an endless supply of nothing. Nothing. Nothing.